It’s no secret that following a sleep routine is one of the most common sleep tips out there. That’s both good and bad. While it can be a really good practice to say goodbye to sleepless nights and exhausted days, it can also make the problem much worse if not implemented correctly. Not to worry, though, I’m here to fill you in on all the dos and don’ts so you can get the great sleep you want, need, and deserve, night after glorious night. There’s also a quick list at the end to reference.
Warning: Sleep routines can be great, or they can make the problem worse if not done right.
Now, before you get the wrong idea, I want to clear the air. I’m a huge proponent of sleep routines and recommend them to my clients who experience incredible results. However, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. That means there is no perfect sleep routine that will work for everyone. Instead, there is a formula that will help you design the best fit for you depending on your needs and lifestyle. There’s more…
Sleep routines are effective if the root cause of the sleep problem is the nightly routine or evening habits. For more severe cases or when the problem has been present for a long time, there is generally more to it than that. That’s okay, this is still an issue that can be solved, it may just take more than the routine to do it. More on that at the end.
Something really important to consider is the stress or anxiety factor. Do you ever feel stressed or anxious about the details of the routine? Does the thought of getting started or staying exactly on schedule lead to worry, negative thoughts, or increased tension in you body? If so, this is a sign to pump the breaks on the sleep routine plan. It’s a sign that a more in-depth intervention is needed. Our RESTED program for insomnia was made for you. Click here to learn more.
Does the thought of this new routine lead to increased stress, anxiety, worry, negative thoughts, or tension?
So, if you notice even the idea of a sleep routine causing more stress, anxiety, worry, tension, or negative thoughts related to sleep or the bed, put the plan on hold. It could do more harm than good to continue with a routine. Instead, reach out to us, or simply focus on getting deeply relaxed before bed until you are ready to follow a sleep routine without the added problems.
Related article – Insomnia With Anxiety & How to Overcome the Challenge
If the idea of a sleep routine sounds empowering and makes you feel motivated to get your sleep under control, that’s great! It means you’re ready to move on to designing the perfect sleep routine for you. As you read through and implement the steps listed below, keep in mind this is a process. I can pretty much guarantee you will adjust your routine at least a little through the years. It may need quite a bit of tweaking to get it working well for you, and it may change through life transitions. Flexibility is one of the keys to long-term success.
Ideally, sleep should come within minutes after getting into bed, 5 to 10 minutes is good. Anything over 15 minutes is considered insomnia. I understand it may take you way longer, possibly even hours, if you’re here looking to a sleep routine. Not to worry, this is definitely improvable. I’m just providing the information for reference because it does apply to the sleep routine.
The 30 minutes before getting into bed is the sacred pre-sleep time. This is the time for the sleep routine.
Sleep and sex are the only two things that should be done in bed, so everything else should be moved to a different time and location. Keep that in mind while reading and carrying out these steps.
Steps to Create a Personalized Sleep Routine
Step 1: Start tracking your sleep and current pre-sleep habits.
Please take note: this says current pre-sleep habits, not just pre-bed habits. To clarify, pre-sleep habits include the things you do before getting into bed and the things you do in bed before going to sleep.
The first step is to simply start observing and recording your current habits. You don’t need to change anything yet. For the first week, just keep a tracking log or journal and write down everything you do in the last 30 minutes before getting into bed, and everything you do in bed before falling asleep.
Step 2: Make two lists.
The second step is to make two lists. When making these lists, consider the time spent in bed before going to sleep and the 30 minutes to a full hour before getting into bed (depending on how your day is scheduled). Make a list of all the things you’re currently doing before going to sleep that promotes great sleep. Then, make a list of all the things you’re currently doing before going to sleep that come between you and great sleep. If there aren’t enough, that’s okay. This process is about making changes. Now is the time to add things you want to start doing before sleep.
Don’t worry, there is a list of examples provided below. Use it as a guide while making your lists.
Make sure to consider the full 30 minutes before getting into bed. For example, if you get in bed at 10:00 pm (on average), you will need to consider everything you do after 9:30 pm.
If you haven’t guessed it yet, the things on the list that comes between you and sleep need to go.
Step 3: Decide how you will make the desired changes.
The third step is to choose what changes you are going to make and how you will implement those changes. What things on your list that comes between you and sleep do you need or really want to continue doing? When, before the sacred 30 minutes before bed, can you do those things? What on that list do you want to stop doing? Is there anything you need to do to stop, and if so, what?
For example, if you want to stop going out with friends or accepting calls into the wee hours, you could have a conversation with those people. If you want to stop getting the 100th cup of water for your kid, you can set a boundary or come up with a solution like starting the kid sleep routine earlier. I know, I know – easier said than done. Hey, it’s a process, not perfection. Making (and trying/following through with) a plan can make a big difference.
The next part of this step is more fun. Decide how you are going to make the changes to add the peaceful things on your sleep promotion list to your nightly routine. You get to design the perfect, sleep-inducing evening. Now that have more space available in that 30 minutes before bed after clearing out the sleep blockers you have time for the dreamy 5-minute yoga session. Hooray!
Step 4: Follow through every night for at least a month.
The fourth step is to follow through with that beautiful plan. Be patient and stick with it. These changes can take time to start noticing a difference. Sleep still may not come right away, and that’s okay. The brain generally doesn’t get the memo for at least three weeks.
Pro tip: if sleep doesn’t come within 15 minutes, get out of bed, and relax in a chair (or with pillows on the floor) next to the bed. This tells the brain the bed is for sleeping and being awake is done elsewhere. Staying in bed awake reinforces to the brain that you go to bed to be awake.
Step 5: Re-evaluate daily or weekly.
The fifth step is to think about what parts of the plan are working, and what parts may need to be adjusted. You’re not expected to get it all perfect the first night (or any night). Tweak as needed. Take the time and effort to find something that works well for you. If things change over time, adjust again.
Now that you understand the process of creating a great sleep routine customized for you and your needs, let’s talk about the things to put on your lists. More importantly, let’s cover how to organize them. Many people are surprised about some of the things that go on one list or the other.
Easy Sleep Routine Changes to Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep (to do earlier than 30 min before bed)
- If the routine is causing stress or negative thoughts or feelings, put it on hold and focus on relaxation before bed.
- Create a hard deadline for finishing the work for the day.
- Complete chores (like folding clothes) daily to keep them small and quick.
- Move the workout to the morning, daytime, or at least the first thing after work (definitely before dinner).
- Take an evening walk before the sacred pre-sleep time.
- Finish watch TV/movies before the sacred pre-sleep time, possibly even in the morning while getting ready for the day.
- Pack lunches for the next day while making or cleaning up after dinner.
- Turn off all screens and silence all electronics before the sacred pre-sleep time. (Sorry, blue light blocking glasses and night/sleep screen settings are not enough for the 30 minutes before bed).
- Use blue light blocking glasses or night/sleep screen settings if you use screens during the hour before the sacred pre-sleep time.
- Stop drinking alcohol in the evening. (Yup, a breakfast mimosa or beer during the afternoon game is better for sleep than a drink with or after dinner.)
- Delegate or hire someone to help if your plate is too full.
Easy Sleep Routine Changes to Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep (can be done within 30 min before bed, or earlier)
- Dim the lights 30 minutes before bed – this is the start of your routine.
- Brushing and flossing teeth and putting on pajamas are common sleep routine activities.
- Do something relaxing like taking a warm bath or shower, meditating, praying, or stretching yoga during the sacred pre-sleep time.
- Make time to think, journal, talk it out, or do something else to process thoughts to prevent an active mind in bed.
- Double check to make sure the door is locked after you get home.
- Double check to make sure the stove and oven are off before you leave the kitchen.
- Let the dishes go unwashed if needed.
- Eat a small snack to prevent late night hunger.
- Slowly sipping herbal tea is okay (not caffeine free because it still has some caffeine) but try not to drink too much.
- Try a pre-sleep relaxation exercise that incorporates breathing along with brain and body relaxation techniques.
- Ask your support system for help with chores or tasks when needed (or before needed).
Most important: if a sleep routine doesn’t do the trick, you don’t need to continue suffering. There is so, so, so much more to improving sleep than a sleep routine and sleep tips.
This is a basic guide of how to create a sleep routine, what to do, and what not to do. For people with more severe struggles with sleep, or for those who have been struggling for a while, this likely won’t even scratch the surface. That definitely doesn’t mean the case is hopeless. There are so many other things to bring a real solution, like addressing the problem from the root cause.
We’re here to help with sleep routines and finding a solution that stretch far beyond the pre-bed process.
Grab our free resource here and we’ll guide you every step of the way.
This blog post discussed change (sleep routine changes). Here are some more blog posts related to the word “change” (but not about how to change pre-bed habits for great sleep) from other sites:
Change How You Parent Fear or Faith
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